The Masturbation Drug
When was the last time you jerked off?
Unless the answer is “I don’t remember”, you’re probably doing it too much.
Masturbation is many ways is like a drug.
Done in healthy amounts, it can be a good way to relax, release some tension and get in touch with your body. In the same way that you wouldn’t fault someone for having a beer or two on a Friday night, or a glass of wine with dinner, if you do it now and again it’s no big deal.
But in today’s world it can so easily become a compulsion. When you start to do it several times a day and lose hours scrolling through porn websites, exploring your deepest and darkest fantasies all in the safety of your bedroom, it’s a clear sign you’re developing an addiction.
And it makes sense, because in many ways it delivers the same kind of high that comes along with getting drunk, smoking a few joints or indulging in hard drugs like cocaine or ecstasy.
Sadly most men aren’t even aware of their addiction, and if they are, they’re ashamed to admit it.
Because what they’re really admitting to is that, for whatever reason, they’re unable to get regular sex, and in most western cultures that says something about your worth as a man.
So let me ask you right now…
Are you addicted to masturbating?
The Plague Of Porn Addiction
Just admitting that to yourself can be such a powerful step in the right direction.
Even if you didn’t have access to internet pornography when you were a teenager, it’s likely you were still living in a home where masturbation was frowned upon, or not even discussed at all. There’s likely a shame trigger buried deep inside your psyche that goes off whenever you masturbate, because as soon as you discovered it growing up you had to hide it away from the world.
When I was growing up I didn’t have access to internet porn. My only experience with porn was finding a DVD which I only watched 5 or so times before my parents eventually found it and took it away. Otherwise I was left to my own devices, which meant masturbating in the shower, often with someone banging on the door telling me to hurry up.
Whether you were under the watchful eye of your parents and afraid of getting caught masturbating, or a frequent consumer of porn as a teenager, these are the fundamental years of development where we start to shape our sexual habits.
The two most common challenges men face in the bedroom are premature ejaculation and the inability to get hard and stay hard.
Premature ejaculation is often a result of training your body, whether it’s through porn or jerking off under a time limit, to expel the sexual energy from your body as quickly as possible.
Whereas the inability to get hard mostly originates with the anxiety that was so frequent during our early sexual experiences. The idea that we were doing something ‘wrong’ or ‘disgusting’, and the shame we feel as a result. We don’t WANT to be doing something bad, but our body has a completely different agenda, and sometimes it overwrites the other part of us which wants to have measured experiences.
As soon as you find yourself in a situation where you’re about to have sex with a girl, this earlier training to both finish quickly and associate sexual experiences with negativity and shame kicks in. Instead of being able to naturally enjoy the experience, to revel in the sensations of your body, you want to escape the anxiety as quickly as possible.
In my online course, the Masculine Touch Blueprint this is something I’ll be covering in detail because I know how hard it can be to confront these issues. Before I met James Marshall and Shae Matthews and began my journey of discovering my own sexuality and the sexuality of women, I was plagued by these problems.
I’ve cut through all of the noise about what works and what doesn’t, testing things on my own and work-shopping them with the other coaches here at TNL to deliver the best way for you to start being able to focus your sexuality, allowing you to control it instead of it controlling you. If this problem has frustrated you your whole life you can start the journey of a making a change by clicking here where you can find out more about the Masculine Touch Blueprint.
Masturbation or Monkhood?
One of the most powerful steps I took to stop finishing so quickly in the bedroom was to stop masturbating entirely.
Now before you press that back button in a rage, hear me out!
I’m not saying you have to stop masturbating for the rest of your life. You don’t have to become a monk and relocate to a monastery in the Appalachians.
But this is about experimentation. Because if you’re reading this I’m guessing that right now you’re not exactly getting a lot of action in the bedroom.
Part of the reason is that each time you masturbate, you’re draining your body of your masculine essence.
Fueling The Beast
I truly believe that every man has within him a raging masculine wolf-man beast that is connected to the sexual life force, that is proud of that energy, not ashamed of it, who wants to share it with women.
That beast is fueled by your cum, and you’re wasting it!
When I stopped masturbating and ejaculating I noticed some very visceral changes in my body after only a week. I became more energized, my heart race increased, my breathing changed, and most importantly, I became more focused on sex.
My desire to approach women was boosted because the sexual energy that was building up inside of me was, by nature, designed to be shared with women.
Even when we coached students on workshops, we strictly forbid masturbating during the time they’re with us because we want them to be eager and hungry, to have that sexual energy oozing out of every pore of their body when they walk up to a woman they’re attracted to.
Give it a go, and if you find that it helps you to stop masturbating and start exploring ways to share this sexual energy with the world, make sure you leave a comment on today’s video.