What Separates Those Who Succeed From Those Who Fail
Have you ever wondered if you’re going to ever get anywhere with this ‘seduction’ stuff?
Does it seem daunting at times to think you have such a long way to go before you’re as good as you want to be? Dating the girls that you REALLY want to be with?
A lot of men ask themselves this when they discover cold approach seduction. Beyond all of the classic excuses like not having enough money, time, or being good looking enough, is a core belief about somehow not having what it takes to get good at this.
But what is the difference between those who succeed and those who fail on this path?
It might surprise you to hear that I too had to answer this question along my own journey. I’ve had a lot of moments of doubt, countless times when I’ve asked myself if this was ever going to go anywhere and pay off for me.
What helped me during this time was some sage wisdom from my good friend, and our Inner Game coach here at The Natural Lifestyles, Shae Matthews.
The Unhappy Alternative
When you’re on a path to achieving a goal, you’re either moving away from something, or towards something.
A lot of the time this is a subconscious process. Think of someone smoking because they’re really stressed, or someone drinking because they can’t come to terms with the pain they’re burying inside themselves.
In my own journey I was moving away from a life without cold approach seduction.
No matter how hard it can get to face constant rejection and flakes and uncertainty, what’s the alternative?
If you don’t go out and approach women, what else could you be doing?
Dating in your social circle? Hoping you meet a girl at work? Swiping on Tinder?
Even though these might feel like the ‘safe’ options, none of them will ever be anywhere close to offering you the potential abundance of woman that cold approach seduction will. This initial phase of ‘beginner’s hell’, where it seems like nothing is going well, is something I wish I could eliminate for all men out there. Whilst it might not be a magical cure, my 3 week online course called the Dating Accelerator is a compilation of everything I wish I knew when I was starting out. It’s not going to mean you can avoid rejection or struggle, but it does mean you’ll have everything you need to put your best foot forward and make your approaches count. If you’re interested be sure to click here for more information.
What you’re moving AWAY from by learning to approach is loneliness, mediocrity, settling for a woman who you don’t really want to be with, but don’t have any better options.
On the other hand, what is it you’re moving towards?
What is the compelling reason you have for wanting to get good at this?
Because everyone has pain. Every man I’ve coached has had a story to tell me about his past, whether it was a Father who wasn’t there for him, that one girl he loved who never felt the same, or the horrible relationship that went on for too long.
But if you’re just trying to run away from that pain, you’ve got a dark path ahead of you.
There has to be something good that compels you to move forward.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
For me it’s curiosity. A constant desire to discover more about women, about dating, relationships, sex, people, the world and this wacky ride we’re on together.
Curiosity is what most of the best seducers out there have to keep them going.
But you can’t fake this. You can’t treat it as some magical answer and tell yourself “if I’m just curious then finally women will want me!”.
It has to be genuine. It has to come from a deeper place than just wanting to get a number or get laid.
Curiosity may not be your reason. But you have to find what it is for you if you ever hope to get anywhere on this journey.
So ask yourself, why do you want to get better at seduction?