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Some guys manage to overcome this fear and approach her… and they hit a new road block! A new type of pressure builds, and they do anything they can to escape it and release the pressure.
The two main ways guys do this: talking too fast… and asking for their number.
Asking for the number is great, it shows a clear intention, but… during many of my live bootcamps, I see students talking to girls for 1 minute, taking her number, and running away.
“Go back in!” I tell them. “You’re just leaving because you can’t handle the pressure of talking to her. Go and sit in the pressure, and build a connection.”
In this video you see me do both these things. Leaving space for her to invest, and staying after I get her number to find out more about her.
That silence… THIS is where that ‘spark’ is born, that edge, the feeling that the girl gets that makes her excited to be around a guy. Sitting in that silence is such a simple way for her to feel like you’re a bad boy who has sexual charisma.
The search for rejection proof methods has created an entire industry of bullshit, promising covert tactics that promise to save you ever feeling the pain of rejection. The truth is it doesn’t exist and you have to come to peace with the inevitable percentage of women that won’t be interested.
Guys often ask me “Do you ever get blown out?” “Can you pickup every woman you approach?” The funny thing about the seduction industry, is that the teachers often get elevated to god like status, with viewers presuming we don’t experience the knock backs that they fear.
So I finally decided to release some footage of the “rejections” I experience. My hit rate on cold approach is very high. It wasn’t always so, I’ve been doing this for nearly 10 years. These days I get numbers off around 50% of the girls I approach but of course, there are plenty of women I meet who aren’t interested and I wanted to show you guys how to handle this elegantly.
In these clips you’ll see that the “rejection” is no big deal. We have a chat, I state my intention, she states hers;) and we part ways without any crushing defeat for me, or painfully awkward situation. Often the girls are happy to have had the compliment, have respect for me but for whatever personal reason they have, there’s no continuation.
It’s important to understand that for a woman meeting a stranger on the street, often her first reflex is to end the interaction. This does not mean you are a loser, or that she is a nasty bitch. She can’t judge you or reject you as a complete person because she doesn’t know you. She is simply rejecting the advances of a stranger, which is her right. You have no idea what is going on in her personal life, how nervous she is with strangers, or what mood she is in.
When I’m coaching new guys I see the panic they feel when a girl says no and they rush to escape the tension and perceived rejection. This is wrong. I teach them to stay there for a minute or two and to “Exit”, rather than be “blown out” .
It’s an important distinction. If you shrink away in defeat and allow shame and embarrassment to take you over, it will be nearly impossible to continue working on your approaches long term. The flip side is getting reactive and resentful to women, which will also twist you and make you rigid and unable to empathise (One of the key seduction skills).
So next time a girl says no, stay there a while longer. Wish her a good day and proudly make your exit because you chose to leave, not because you interpreted her response as your personal defeat.
P.S I’m just about to head to the US for our final workshop of the year. 5th – 11th Oct in New York City (arguably the best city in the world for meeting women, once you know how)