PUA vs. Being Natural

The transformation you go through as a man internally is much more meaningful and fruitful than just seducing women. So that only leaves you with what option? Yes, you’re right. You. Your natural self is the most attractive thing to a woman. Men in the normal world, hide their flaws, their opinions and their sexuality.

PUA’s present a stylized and compensatory front, Natural seducers bare all. There is this amazing saying I heard somewhere that goes “Women are attracted to your rough spots”. This means exactly that what is most attractive about you is both what is loved by many and not accepted by many. Let’s take a further look into why being natural is more challenging than memorizing lines but your best route to attracting the most desirable women who love you for you.
The most appealing parts that you can show a woman are the parts that most people don’t see. Not your cock you nasty fuckers (although later you will), but the raw aspects that really define your character. Here’s 2 examples of recent dates I had where my honesty led to polar results.

Example 1. Acceptance: I met a woman in the nightclub and she said, “What is your favorite movie?” Now, my favorite at the time was Frozen. I had a choice in that moment to guess what I thought she wanted to hear to make me appear alpha or to just give the Disney truth. Of course I took the truth. And something beautiful happened. She said “Oh my god I love that movie. I love Olaf”. And we both hugged and kissed. Now, I’m an open-relationship with this woman and we have watched Frozen numerous times together.

Example 2. Non- Acceptance: I was on a date with an L’ Oreal makeup artist and she was a very classy woman. Well dressed and wanted chivalry from me the whole night. As we are on the date she says, “Now, tell me some words to describe you?” So, as I’m saying words I say, “I’m sexual” and say a few more. I end she goes “Why would say your sexual on the first date with someone? It’s a bit awkward.” I said, “Well, I’m just being honest”. Guessing her reply to me saying that, you know where the date ended up. We never spoke again after that day.

So, I had the choice in both instances to give a part that I thought was more PUAish or what I thought she wanted to hear, or just plainly give her the truth of who I am. Both women reacted strongly to my truth. The first became more attracted the second was completely turned off. Those are the responses you want. To have the majority of women you talk to like you is not your aim. No seducer is 100% or anywhere close to that, nor should they be trying to be. If 90% of women you talk to like you (in a generic way), you’re not showing them exactly who you are. Show exactly who you are, your true desire without apology. Then, watch how the tide turns.

pua vs being natural

PUA’s follow what they’re “supposed to do” based on rigid external ideas while Naturals follow their truth, desire and integrity. Put a PUA in a club and he will try to seduce the hottest women in the room. He will be so attached to his image of getting that hot girl that he will diminish his integrity, put him in his head and as a result he’s unlikely to get her. Put a Natural in the club and he will seduce the women who he best matches up with. The hottest girl in the club is not the pinnacle woman. She is just another woman who still needs to be qualified and engaged with on a deep level, to see if you’re right for each other. The Natural may still approach her; walk up to her with presence, integrity, and truth and speak to her. He will be qualifying her to see if she’s a cool girl and worthy to see again, just like he does to all women. If so, great. If not, he will simply move on. Men get so caught up on achieving that super-hot girl in the club that they forget about what is amazing for the soul. Of course allow your instant attraction to lead you to whoever you want but operate the same way as if you would with a woman who is cute.
I hope this clears up the mindset difference between being Natural and being a “PUA”.

The pursuit of beauty solely to boost your ego will in the long run be a hollow journey and ironically you’ll get much hotter, incredible women by first becoming clear of what real standards are important to you. So, start now. Be completely natural by showing women who you are exactly, vulnerabilities, quirks and all. You can either build a mask and armor based on a false Pick Up Artist identity or act through your exact and natural self, while continuing to develop yourself into the ideal man you wish to be. The choice is yours. Until next, my fellow seducers.

Tony Solo

Join Tony on his next 4 day Natural Seduction workshop in the New York City – arguably the world’s best city for seduction. Only 2 places available. 5th – 8th March. Full details HERE.

Seduction in Seconds – How to pickup girls in less than 2 minutes

If the answer is yes, you are missing golden opportunities to possibly meet the girl of your dreams and allowing yourself to make bullshit excuses.

In this video I show you some examples of when I had less than 2 minutes with a girl but still managed to get her number. Ideally I like to spend 5 – 15 minutes with a girl I approach cold, because that gives me enough time to connect, qualify, flirt and settle into a relaxed energy with her, so we have a feel for each other’s vibe and know enough about each other to further arouse curiosity.

However when that isn’t logistically possible, by condensing my general seduction strategy I can still hit enough major emotional points to get a solid number. Keep in mind that your first impression, when done well holds immense power and that alone can be enough for a girl to think “Why not?” Liam and I were discussing this the other day and going through our personal histories could think of dozens of times when we had met girls that later became lovers in these super short timeframes.

A couple of points to note from the video:

  • I observe her pace, is she walking fast, does she seem in a hurry?
  • I ask her straight away what she is doing, to quickly gauge how much time I have
  • Even though I don’t have much time, I don’t rush and talk fast. I keep the interaction calm and smooth even though it has to be short.
  • I let her know my intentions straight away (no time for indirect seduction nonsense) and at least try to find out one interesting thing about her, so I can do a micro qualification to show her I’m not just interested in her looks.
  • I try to be the one to end the interaction, so I’m not left mid sentence on the street alone

Try this out next time you see a cute girl waiting for her tram/bus/limo, it can actually be really good training for operating under pressure and becoming more succinct and tight with your game. Also, creepy as it sounds with a constant turnover of people, you could set up camp at a busy station and run the same process all day…

Enjoy.

James.

Join James, Liam, Jess and Tony for 7 days of round the clock seduction mayhem in Barcelona this summer. One of the best cities in the world for meeting hot girls looking to party with the world’s best coaches. 29th June – 5th July. Full details HERE.

How To Stop Two Girls? (Video)

Another key point in this video is the power of giving out a sexual energy through your eyes and seeing which girls give it right back to you.

You’ll also see a good example of flirting and role play: he pretends to be a guy in the bad and gets the girl to act as if she is a groupie for a fun playful exchange.

The power of this is that she gets to FEEL the emotions of her character, even if it’s just ‘as a joke.’

Peace, Liam.

JOIN Tony, James, Liam & Jess at their first huge residential for 2015 – 7 day training in Budapest from 10th – 17th May. Full details HERE.

Make Seduction Fun (3 rules)

This high standard that he is holding himself manifests in rigidity of behavior. Unattractive. Being playfully flirtatious is a must to enjoying an interaction. Allowing yourself to loosen up and be happier gives the woman the feeling that you will be a pleasure to hang out with. So, the 3 simple rules to make seduction fun are:

Rule #1. Lower you standards for what you believe is great conversation.

In talking to tons women, I found that lowering my standards for what makes great conversation is how I started having great conversations. Seduction material typically tells men time and time again that your conversation needs to be serious, to ask questions like “Why do you love this and that?” or “What is your deepest passion?”. At times this will be vital in getting her to open her heart to you, but great conversation is creative and spontaneous. For example, ask her “If you could live one place for the rest of your life, where would you live?”. Or if things stall out in a conversation you can say, “Make one assumption about me and I will tell you if it’s true.” When you lower the standard the pressure is immediately lifted, so you can stop being so damn serious and start having fun.

Rule #2. Say as you feel and do as you feel.

To feel happier in an interaction, start saying whatever you want, doing whatever you want, and OWNING IT! Most of man’s frustration in an interaction will stem from being disconnected from the moment and being stuck in their head. On top of that, they worry about how they are being perceived by the woman. To truly be light-hearted and playful is the key. Say whatever you want and do whatever you want. This freedom will free the woman up as well. She will feel the energy coming off of you, which will allow her to open up. Which brings us to Rule 3…

 

seduction; pickup artist; pua; how to attract girls;

Rule #3. Be slow and enjoy the interaction.

So many men rush an interaction to get to the end. If you do, you will miss out on how she is really feeling behind her words and movements. Women tell you so much without saying much. Enjoy the silence between you two, enjoy how she acts, how she speaks. But most importantly, enjoy the fact that you’re creating an opportunity for you both. Being slow and enjoying the interaction will help you to elicit fun.

Understand that these 3 rules for making seduction fun will completely help you if you make sure to still simmer down your energy and really connect at times. Be responsive to her in order to make the most of whatever you’re doing. Above all, have fucking fun! By being a free man in front of women, you give them that same gift of freedom. Until next time my fellow seducers, peace.

Tony Solo.

JOIN Tony, James, Liam & Jess at their first huge residential for 2015 – 7 day training in Budapest from 10th – 17th May. Full details HERE.

 

5 Top Seduction Tips For Shy Guys

“Could that really be me?” They ask, wondering if they’ll ever be able to feel comfortable in a nightclub.

The good news is, you don’t have to! Here are my 5 Top Seduction Tips For Shy Guys:

1. You don’t have to be high energy

If you’ve ever watched infield videos of James Marshall you’ll see that he’s cool, calm and collected, almost to the point of being boring. A natural introvert, he likes to keep things low key. Many guys assume that because some pickup artists they watch shout and yell and are high energy, that this is the ONLY way to meet girls. If you are a shy guy, this is going to make things WORSE for you, as you burn up your energy, stress yourself out, and adopt behaviours that don’t fit your natural temperament. Low energy can be as powerful, if not more powerful approach, as it gives the girl space and time to relax, get to know you, and allows sexual tension to develop.

2. Some girls think shy guys are cute

Not every girl wants a muscle bound suit wearing rich guy. Some girls find shy guys cute and endearing. Does this mean you can just ‘be yourself’? Not exactly. You still need to approach women, show sexual intent, and make a move. But it doesn’t have to be super smooth. Awkwardness transforms into sexual tension if she likes you.

3. Sometimes the girl is just as shy as you

Many guys think that all girls are the same. Some are confident, and some are super shy! Knowing this helps you to stop interpreting every awkward moment as your fault… sometimes she’s just nervous too.

4. Speaking less is better

You don’t have to dominate the conversation. In fact, leaving space for her to talk puts more pressure on her to invest in the conversation, allows you to listen more and find out about her. This is a good chance to give her a flirtatious look with your eyes to turn friendly chit chat into sexually charged conversation.

5. With practice you will relax

Rejection is good! If you are shy, the best thing you can do is go an get rejected. You will start to realize it’s not so bad, and avoid becoming obsessed over trying to make the seduction go perfectly. Learning to be relaxed and comfortable after rejection is a vital skill for the rest of your life. Go get rejected today!

Why Girls Don’t Text Back – Flakes

“Hi Liam, I managed to gain a really weird and useful insight the other day that I really wanted to come on and share with you. I’ve been able to glimpse flaking from the other side of the fence through an unusual experience…

Basically, for a couple of weeks I’d been exercising raising my state, like before work or after work by having quick conversations with people during my commute, usually asking a quick question then bantering a bit then shaking hands and walking away…

So – here’s the crazy bit. The other day I chatted with an Asian (Pakistani) business man in the park, and it went a bit further than small talk, he was asking me questions about my work, my abilities etc – we started talking about cultural divides, and how our city is doing a good job of bringing people together, he started saying he wanted to set up a music workshop introducing Asian children to more western styles, specifically classical music – as he works in the city library, this all seemed legit… He wanted me to help in anyway I could and asked for my business card… so I told him:

“Nah, I don’t have a business card, but here’s my number.”

Then things sort of took a creepy turn. He started telling me at 27 I should be running my own business and I should use him to apply for a government grant to help him set up one of his projects and I could take it over when it started making money, he started commenting on my work attire and facial hair, saying I had a unique style but needed to make some changes, my belt was brown and my shoes were black, so I had to lose the belt, I shouldn’t have rolled up my sleeves and worn a tie, either sleeves down and cuff links or sleeves up and top button off, tie off. Etc. And at the end he was very persistent we should meet for coffee. He did actually give off sort of latent gay predatory vibes too, which while we were having a good conversation early on were pretty dormant.

A sort of reflex happened like, *Oh shit, I just gave a creepy Pakistani business man my number, now he wants me to basically “Hook up” with him, I’m now totally late for work… Oh shit oh shit oh shit fear shit death shit bum rape shit poverty shit extortion arrrrrrgh.*

So obviously, when the texts and calls started happening, I was like, oh fuck, this guy is a complete psycho stalker. I was experiencing anxiety… I felt sort of threatened. I just ignored all the calls and texts, thinking, yeah when Girls flaked on me in the past, I didn’t persist, this guy will get the message.

pickup-artist

But man! I was like the pickupee and he was the PUA… I gave my number out of politeness and totally regretted it… and then not only was I “flaking” in his eyes, but I was kind of terrified too.

I think about all the daygame pickup infields out there where “PUA” guys are really having twist the chicks tit to get the number at the end of the conversation, like when the girls voice quivers a bit and she says “but, I don’t really know you…” and the guy is like “hey Girl, it’s fine, I’m so pimpin, you love it” and they just sort of roll off their number in a really ashen way… My brain has now felt what their brain felt. It is actually, a mild form of terror.

In the end, the Pakistani business dude looked me up through my work email and emailed me some ‘work related’ questions, so I emailed him back politely telling him I didn’t want him to attempt to contact me again and he was like “You should’ve answered your phone or your texts!” So I thought he was being a bit of a butthurt… he obviously had something riding on me going along with his plans for me, and by me being overtly chatty and friendly I must’ve conveyed that I was malleable to be manipulated etc.

Anyway, long and short is, actually, the guy might’ve been totally totally legit, and taken my willingness to chat, the fact that I showed social flare and the things we had in common as a sign that I might make an excellent business apprentice… but when I suddenly had to commit to something more than a chat before work to get my state up and was being made to feel I had to be compliant, my reaction, both physically and mentally was alarm bells all over. I didn’t want to have to be an arse hole and tell him I wasn’t actually interested in meeting him again, as he hadn’t really given me any concrete reason to be like that, but equally, I didn’t want to commit to some crazy projects when I already work full time and am a single dad with 3 kids.

So what I’m taking away from this is, any contact made after a number close needs to be about comfort building… and I will acknowledge if a number flakes with something to dampen the sensation of being creeped out that a girl might be feeling “Hey, Sorry if I got the wrong impression, I just thought you seemed really cool. Anyway, Good luck with (XYZ).”… compassion in game.

Thanks Liam,
Brian

This is an amazing insight that Brian had: I used to keep a diary called ‘”From A Girls Perspective” and write down every time I had an experience like this that gave me an insight into female behaviour that can seem confusing on the surface but actually makes total sense when you look at the underlying emotions.

The end message is: YES, sometimes girls will be awkward and nervous when you ask for their number, NO that doesn’t mean you should NEVER ask, it means that if you have an understanding like Brian does about the potential for this situation to make a girl feel uncomfortable, it allows you to show her you understand. You can release the social pressure she’s feeling by saying, “I know it’s kind of strange, if we don’t make good texting buddies we can stop.” This isn’t a magic line, but an example of you communicating that you are taking this interaction one step at a time so she doesn’t feel that she’s committing to sex instantly by giving out her number. Don’t use this as an excuse to not close: ask, but understand her headspace and guide her through the experience comfortably.

Relationship Advice They DON’T Tell You…

But what they don’t realize is the relationship advice they’ve been given is not just unhelpful…in most of the cases we see, it’s too little, too late. They are already in too deep, driven by cultural myths about what women want, and have lost their masculine energy, vitality and life force that made the woman attracted to them in the first place.

A man feels as though, if he is a good enough guy, shows respect, affection, is on time, is neat, is nice, a woman will fall for him.

What we’ve seen over and over is that women respond to how a man makes her feel, not the things he does. And most guys have no idea how they make a woman feel, or what feelings are exciting for her.

Here are the 3 distinct phases guys play out:

1. Knight in shining armour. This is a classic role that guys love to play. It’s fed into our brains since childhood… the powerful handsome rich prince saving the princess and getting rewarded with sex, affection, and female attention. This story often leads guys to pursue girls who are not interested in them, spend months or years patiently hoping that if they stick around long enough a girl will recognize what a good guy they are, or stay in toxic relationships with girls who have extreme emotional problems hoping that they can ‘fix them’ or ‘save them. This leads to the next mistake…

2. Sacrifices. The knight has to slay a big dragon to impress the princess. But it’s worth it when he gets that sweet, sweet feminine attention and approval he’s been craving in the form of sex, a girlfriend, intimacy etc. So many guys often end up making sacrifices to prove their love, from the subtle day by day ones to the grandiose. An example of the subtle is attending to a woman’s every need to the point where you smother her. and the grandiose… in this job I’ve watched countless guys throw away passions, friendship groups, careers, fulfilling lifestyles and artistic pursuits to ‘be with a girl’. And here’s the worst part: women don’t respect you for it… they actually resent it! They are attracted to a man with a vital life force and purpose… unless that purpose is ‘needily extract validation and feminine attention from this woman.’ She wants to be part of your life, NOT your whole life.

3. Resentment. Men who play out these stereotypes long enough end up resenting women. They feel cheated by the system, lied to, manipulated. This is covered extensively in “No More Mr Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. It feels for them that no matter how hard they try, no matter how nice, chivalrous, and committed they are, their quest for feminine affection and attention winds up hurting them.

So what is the ultimate relationship advice? Maintain a purpose, drive, and passion outside of women. Make her a fun addition to your already stimulating lifestyle, not the focal point of it. This involves discovering who YOU are as a man before diving head first into a serious long-term monogamous relationship.