The search for rejection proof methods has created an entire industry of bullshit, promising covert tactics that promise to save you ever feeling the pain of rejection. The truth is it doesn’t exist and you have to come to peace with the inevitable percentage of women that won’t be interested.
Guys often ask me “Do you ever get blown out?” “Can you pickup every woman you approach?” The funny thing about the seduction industry, is that the teachers often get elevated to god like status, with viewers presuming we don’t experience the knock backs that they fear.
So I finally decided to release some footage of the “rejections” I experience. My hit rate on cold approach is very high. It wasn’t always so, I’ve been doing this for nearly 10 years. These days I get numbers off around 50% of the girls I approach but of course, there are plenty of women I meet who aren’t interested and I wanted to show you guys how to handle this elegantly.
In these clips you’ll see that the “rejection” is no big deal. We have a chat, I state my intention, she states hers;) and we part ways without any crushing defeat for me, or painfully awkward situation. Often the girls are happy to have had the compliment, have respect for me but for whatever personal reason they have, there’s no continuation.
It’s important to understand that for a woman meeting a stranger on the street, often her first reflex is to end the interaction. This does not mean you are a loser, or that she is a nasty bitch. She can’t judge you or reject you as a complete person because she doesn’t know you. She is simply rejecting the advances of a stranger, which is her right. You have no idea what is going on in her personal life, how nervous she is with strangers, or what mood she is in.
When I’m coaching new guys I see the panic they feel when a girl says no and they rush to escape the tension and perceived rejection. This is wrong. I teach them to stay there for a minute or two and to “Exit”, rather than be “blown out” .
It’s an important distinction. If you shrink away in defeat and allow shame and embarrassment to take you over, it will be nearly impossible to continue working on your approaches long term. The flip side is getting reactive and resentful to women, which will also twist you and make you rigid and unable to empathise (One of the key seduction skills).
So next time a girl says no, stay there a while longer. Wish her a good day and proudly make your exit because you chose to leave, not because you interpreted her response as your personal defeat.
P.S I’m just about to head to the US for our final workshop of the year. 5th – 11th Oct in New York City (arguably the best city in the world for meeting women, once you know how)
A simple example; James and me were talking to two Russian sisters.
Her: This shirt makes you look boring
James: [Smiles, doesn’t say anything]
Her: [Turns to me] Don’t you think his shirt is ugly!
Me: [Smiles] I think it suits him… I think you secretly like it coz it makes him look a sexy businessman. Is that your fantasy?
Her: Ohhh… Mr Executive [She blushes and playful slaps him] I might have to work late tonight… sir.
It’s simple, but I’m siding with him, and turning her playing jab into something they can flirt about.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but a lot of guys can’t handle the social pressure when meeting knew people, and the only way they know how to deal with the tension is to pull other people down.
2.Helping At Key Moments
Developing a good wingman relationship means knowing how to make things easy for each other. Any point where a simple helpful gesture can move the whole seduction forward costs your nothing but helps a lot.
Examples of this include:
-talking to a girls male friends to distract him
-helping him to find a taxi when he’s taking her home
-lending him money to buy after party drinks
-letting him use your phone for google maps
-lending him condoms
-giving him the house keys
-putting on music
3. Releasing the social pressure and making the girl feel safe.
This is probably the most advanced aspect of being a good wingman. Any moment where you are interacting with the girl your wing is seducing, your goal should be making her feel, relaxed, safe, and included.
At the bar this means positioning your body so she can be part of the conversation, keeping a warm friendly energy towards her, releasing social pressure by smiling. Don’t try to be funny or put her down. For most girls this will put unnecessary awkwardness into the situation for no reason.
This is even more important when he brings her home. When they walk in, smile, introduce yourself, and remember that she is entering a strangers house. How you act in this situation can determine how relaxed she feels about staying. This is NOT the time for in jokes or trying to be funny. Be polite, friendly, and make yourself scarce once she’s settled in.
We’re coming to USA in October! We’re running a NYC workshop 5th-11th October. You will get to practice touching, escalation and much more. We won’t be back coaching in USA till October 2016 so this is your last chance to come and work with the best coaches in the world for a week of intense personalized coaching. Click here.
I’ve also taught many men, who from societal judgement are successful, tall, good looking, charming, kind who (until we kicked them into gear), labored through frustrating loneliness and relationships with women they accepted out of scarcity.
Watch our shy, short Asian student work through his demons to success
Of course, having a working knowledge of seduction, delivery, presence, body language, logistics, escalation, all this is important. However, underlying the approach you use, the tricks you try is your own sense of self worth, entitlement and mission purpose. Without strength here, you will struggle endlessly against your own shadow. I think the roots of most men’s insecurities are deep and often complicated but there are two aspects that tend to dominate.
One is a nagging doubt that inherently you don’t have what it takes, that for some reason outside your control, you were given a shitty hand to play with. The other aspect is a misunderstanding about what women actually want from a man. We are sold certain standards through our society and media that equate male sexual success with looks, money and status.
The truth is women are generally after something much more valuable and rare, a man who can handle her. A man who makes her feel sexy or as the girl in the video says about Jack, to “Feel like a woman”. The paradox is that worthiness and confidence are not destination states. You don’t get them and that’s it. The process of cold approaching women, forces you to confront your real and imagined limitations and if done intelligently gives you new thinking tools to discern which are delusional bad mindsets and which are areas you need to work on in yourself.
This short film follows the journey one of our students Jack went through with us on a recent Euro Tour. Jack is a 5’3”, shy, inexperienced guy from Taiwan. After years of experimenting with other schools, he came to us with a firm commitment to finally solve this problem. Although as you see, he has a rough start, his plucky good humour and persistence pays off. It’s so gratifying as a coach to help guys like Jack who have great hearts and so much to offer women, finally crack the internal and real world codes for releasing their masculine potential.
If you’ve let those dark cyclical thoughts in your head of not being tall, rich or cool enough stop you from meeting the women of your dreams, take some inspiration from Jack and get out there to seize your dreams.
P.S – We have only one of this year’s 20 Euro Tour spots left for the September workshop (2nd – 14th Sep). If you want to sort your mindsets and your game this year, click HERE NOW.
(The mind’s anxious dialogue begins) Whoa, who’s that guy, why is she with him? Lightly touching his arm and smiling from ear to ear like he’s so impressive. Does he know game as well? Yeah, he must. Did she forget me? Should I say hi to remind her? Fuck, why is seduction so hard?
Sound familiar, don’t worry guys. Time and time again, I went out at night and wanted a particular girl all to myself. I would meet a feminine, attractive, witty woman with confidence, who reminded me of why I got in seduction (for women like her), only to see her moments later giggling and flirting with another guy. It jived my emotions towards jealousy, then envy, then hope, etc. This is when I noticed, something needed to change…
Fast-forward dozens and dozens of situations like this to today, things have changed for me..
Me: “I will be around but just in case I lose you to a special new boyfriend, give me your number”.
Girl: haha ok.
What do you know, she’s with another guy…
Well game on, I guess I’ll go get her back..
(Random guy’s confused mind) What guy just walks a girl away while she’s in conversation? Does she know him? He’s a short fucker. Yeah they must know each other. Stupid slut.
Me: “I regret marrying you. My heart is in pain unless you mend it by saying I love you”.
Girl: “hahaha I love you. You are crazy!”
What a shift huh? After meeting many women out at night, I came to the understanding that often women want to flirt with many guys. A big reason women go out is to feel the validation of multiple men chasing her.
Even though we may have had a good connection, it doesn’t mean I own her or she owes me anything. Of course, she’s likely to flirt around the room before choosing a guy.
But it’s not just random chance who gets the girl. If I’ve had a good connection with her and then take the lead and keep several important principles in mind, then most of the time, other men are no real competition.
As you can see in the infield video, I manage to take a girl back from 2 much bigger and persistent guys using the following 3 concepts:
Stop engaging with the men she is talking to. My mindset is that all other guys are irrelevant to the interaction. The girl matters. Go right to the girl and engage her like you know her. Well, because you do. When your competition inevitably tries to engage you or her, dismiss him without aggression and focus on the girl.
“ Move her.Move fast”.
Before the girl even has a chance to process what’s happening, I move her after saying hi again. In some cases I literally pick her up but the important thing is to create physical distance between her and other men. Be aware that I would only do this to women I clearly had a good connection with. Which brings us to the the third point…
Flirtatiously set up a role-play to get her on my side.
Women love role-playing. Most conversations in clubs are boring and predictable. Women go out to have fun and live out fantasies, and playing roles is an important part of that. Part of how I create a unique connection, is to often set up fun role playing dynamics. Use your imagination, simple stuff like Husband/Wife, Boss/Secretary, King/Queen etc. These roles have automatic sexual tension and rapport built into them, allowing you to stand out and bypass all the boring small talk. This means when I reapproach I can jump straight back into role play; “ Is my wife on the verge of cheating on me?”.
Be playful with it and she will respond very well.
Follow these simple steps and you’ll find when you go out at night, it will no longer seem like a chaotic free for all. Instead you will be able to confidently meet, attract, and get back the women you speak to.
Try out my tips and watch the woman of “his dreams”, fall back into your arms. Until next time…
P.s. If you want more counter intuitive secrets and to learn in real time how to master night game (and everything else), come train with me and the TNL crew on our upcoming workshops:
But how soon should you get physical? Often it’s MUCH sooner than most men think. Most guys get stuck in boring conversations with girls that is stimulating for neither of them, which in the long term leads to being seen as the ‘nice guy’ who’s a ‘great friend’ but…. Girls never see him as the type of guy who has that sexual spark, that edge, that burst of excitement that leads them to see him as someone they want to sleep with.
For guys in this position, starting to introduce touch is going to make your intentions much clearer.
Touch has two powerful effects:
-it shows your intentions, shows that you can take risks, and that you are bold
-the way you handle her reaction to the touch, meanwhile, shows her that you can respect her boundaries.
As you see in this video, I take a risk by offering to dance with her on the street. She follows my lead. I take another risk when I kiss her neck, and then draw investment from her when I get her to kiss me back.
Later, when I try hugging her from the back as she use’s my phone, she makes it clear she’s not comfortable with this. Reading this signal, I back off. This sends a clear message
“I will touch you if you’re enjoying it, and I’ll stop when you’re uncomfortable.”
This is a powerful combination. It shows her you have balls, but also respect. She can trust you to read her signals and flow at a pace she feels okay with.
So it’s never too soon to start touching, as long as you can give her the space to say no and respect her wishes.
It’s one thing to read this, better to watch it… but nothing compares to being able to practice this in real life. What if you could walk through how to get physical with a woman in a classroom environment, and then go infield with a coach who will listen into to the interaction and give you clear feedback about what you need to change? Often the way you speak, the way you stand, everything about your physicality has to change.
We’re running our FINAL European Residential Training program for the year in Budapest on 2nd– 9th August. You will get to practice touching, escalation and much more. We won’t be back coaching in Europe till 2016 so this is your last chance to come and work with the best coaches in the world for a week of intense personalized coaching.
When it comes to being a great seducer and lover it is important to keep a focus on sharing sexual adventures worth remembering.
There are a lot of areas that you can explore when it comes to sexual, personal and PUA development. Being more sensual and capable as a lover is one of the most important if you truly wish to convey a high level of confidence in your ability to lead, satisfy and be well remembered by a lover.
Developing a well-rounded lover skill set is something that will definitely change your life for the better. In my opinion it is something that every man should have high on his list of personal development and sexual relationship goals. Ideally this learning curve is about opening yourself to a strong sense of sensual expression so that you can explore and share a deeper range of sexual and sensual variety. With practice this will develop a more extended capacity to be sensual, sexual, creative, intuitive, and confident. With more capacity and skill the whole experience of sex and sensuality can go to a new level.
GET IT ON!
So when it comes to navigating the sensual oceans that exist between lovers, where do we start?
Recognise where you’re at and start from there.
We all exist on some spectrum of skill and experience in being great lovers, and we all have potentials, strengths and weaknesses in different areas. The good news is that we can always learn to be better lovers. Like learning to cook or exercise it’s a life skill that will benefit you no matter who you are.
There are few investments in life that give us (and our lucky lovers) the returns that becoming a good lover will. The hard part of the process is recognizing that it takes time to get good at anything. It has been said in studies of mastery that it takes at least 10,000 hrs of experience to be really good at what you do. What this means is that you have some work to do practicing giving and receiving pleasure. The good news is that will some direction and support you can be very good in a short amount of time. SO what are some good starting points?
Work with both Sex and Sensuality:
Within the realms of intimate exchange there is a spectrum of sex and sensuality. Sex is often seen at the friction of genital contact. This is the more physical part of the spectrum whereas sensuality is more to do with exploring the senses and the potentials within them. Sensuality although also physical is about setting up a more subtle energetic feeling experience and psychological framework for experiencing love making and intimacy. Touch, sight, smell, sound, taste and mind are all senses that can be sensually explored and developed. A good lover will have the capacity to create very sensual as well as sexual experiences.
This is where things like knowledge of the body, massage and sexual psychology are very useful.
Get back in your body
A lot of people are so disconnected from their sensuality and sense of connection to their bodies. The concept of exploring a deeper level of sexuality can be a foreign and unexplored terrain. Especially if the ideas of being in the body, feeling and experiencing touch in a more subtle way, seem out of the norm or unknown.
It’s ok if you feel like this, it just means that you have some development and experience to go through.
For many lovers, embodiment is shallow and clunky. With little skill and experience in sensual embodiment, sex often becomes a rigorous, disconnected, friction based act. More aimed to get to the goal of coming hard and fast than appreciating and exploring the joy of making love, being sensual and deepening the range and kinds of pleasure possible between you and your lover.
Sadly this friction based sex alone often leaves us feeling dissatisfied, spent and empty like we have just eaten junk food. Some partners (especially women) are sexually blocked and unfortunately find sex to be a numbing experience. These people often see sex as something that is to be put up with in order to gain other favors like companionship, validation, comfort, security etc.
Ideally we want to be neither sex junkies (needing high intensity sensory overwhelm to be satisfied) or numb to the sexual experience (apathetic to or disconnected from our sex lives). As with most things in life this is about finding a balance and exploring that sweet spot that is the middle ground between sex and sensuality, friction and focus of mind.
Sensuality and sexuality is about exploring a journey of connection, altered states of sensation and consciousness and consensually playing out roles (e.g masculine, feminine, active, surrender, domination, submission etc) that release, balance and affirm parts of our psyche and the relationships we share.
The doorway to sensuality is the body and touch. When you drop into a sensual state and or can lead someone else on a sensual journey it’s like opening another dimensions of our being to share.
So there you have a few tips that are useful for you to develop your sensual lover skills. If you have any questions let me know and hit up the comments or send me a general inquiry.
I’m available for sexuality and inner game coaching through [email protected] and have just released a sensual massage product to get you guys inspired on your sensual lover journey.
I look forward to sharing more with you soon enough and I wish you all the best of luck with your sensual and erotic adventures.
Get VIP updates and bonuses on Shae’s new video course – Sensual Massage Secrets. Click HERE.
Is this really the way you have to do it? What if you’re tired, grumpy, feeling shy, or you’re a natural introvert? Do you need to fake an energetic mood?
The truth is that you don’t have to be in the best place internally to meet the women you want. Does it help to feel good and go up to the women you want? Of course it does. But the reality is that your state and feeling of confidence will fluctuate daily. If you wait for the perfect mood, you’ll miss most of the opportunities in life. I approach women everyday. Every time I leave the house, I meet someone. I also go out every single night, mostly alone. I’m not always feeling the best within myself. My default state is pure openness and joy, but I get tired, have off days and I know that if I want to be the best at this as I can and be able to teach under all circumstances then I have to deal with these times of uncertainty. So, that’s why I just role with what I’m feeling at any moment and carry that vibe into my interactions. Understand that low energy doesn’t mean boring. You can be quiet but intense, speak simply but have a profound effect.
After approaching possibly thousands of women, I have come to understand that you don’t have to chase state. It’s a dangerous to do so actually, because you train yourself to be good with women only when feeling good. I remember having thoughts a few years ago like “If only I was feeling on top of my game”, or making excuses- “ it’s because I’m not in the best state, I should call it a night”. Sound familiar? Things began to shift when I persisted to approach even when I wasn’t “feeling it”. What a profound lesson to learn for me. The realisation that I can approach even when I’m not at my best and still have women respond positively, changed my whole perception on being state dependent. Women don’t expect you to be perfect or an entertainer. They expect you to be real. Often, showing vulnerability and a range of emotional settings will actually make her like you more. Of course this doesn’t mean laying negative emotional baggage on her, complaining or being cynical but by not hiding my mood, she sees the depth of my character. After an approach or two, I usually found was that I began to feel better by the act of expressing myself honestly from my emotional setting within.
When you’re not in state, focus on expressing yourself by rolling with your current feelings. I’m mostly a man who is playful and cheeky when interacting with women. My friend James Marshall is more intensely low energy and cool when speaking with women. But sometimes I see him more high energy, silly and playful (No one believes me but when you live with him you see it all). He is just rolling with what he feels. Being someone who is playful and cheeky, I quickly learned from James the power of low energy seduction. I used to have these rigid thoughts “I’m high energy. I’m super direct and sexual” and “ low energy is boring”. But I came to find out that I was just avoiding being low energy because I thought it wasn’t “my identity”. Never get stuck thinking you are either low or high energy in seduction. It’s an illusion. Yes, there’s one you are more than the other but to be as effective as you can be, just role with your current emotional state. Accept it and know that, all things change and the best way to get in state is have a gorgeous woman come into your life.
Hope is article helps you all with avoiding that myth that you must be all fucking fantastic internally to approach women. It’s a lie. Seducing is about being flexible and developed enough where you can seduce no matter how you feel. Watch this video of an afternoon of approaching I did recently and notice how I go from low energy to feeling better by the simple act of expressing myself honestly. Key lesson of the video: Role with what you feel when seducing.
Last chance to join the king of low energy, James Marshall plus me, Liam and Jess for 7 days Natural Seduction mayhem in Barcelona – 29th June – 5th July. Click HERE for details. 1 spot left!
I’ve been working as a stylist and costume designer for the past 10 years. I’ve helped countless men with their personal style- ranging from IT workers, to doctors, lawyers, musicians, surgeons and businessmen. All ages, all incomes.
I believe all men have the ability to dress in a way that makes them look and feel sexy and confident. It’s about knowing what clothing flatters your body shape, what style suits your personality and lifestyle and what clothing makes you feel relaxed and confident. That’s where I come in!
Check out this new video of mine, which is a Style Makeover I did with my client Justin. This video shows a typical “day in the life of” session of a style makeover service that I offer.
What is a style Makeover like?
First I meet up with the client for a quick chat over coffee (or a skype date if he’s out of town). I like to find out about the client first, his personality, interests, lifestyle, career etc. All of this gives me inspiration and ideas for his clothing and will inform the styling choices I make when we go shopping. Then, usually the following day I will go out to the shops ahead of time and check out what is in stock. I visit all the shops I have in mind that I think will be appropriate, I make lists and take photos of clothing that I think will suit. Even listing prices. I do this for several reasons. Firstly it is extremely time efficient and means when I meet up with the client most of the “searching” part of the shopping trip is done in advance. I already know where specific shops and items are located and this makes the shopping trip so much faster. The other bonus is that it allows for me to compare prices in advance. There’s nothing I love more than a bargain! This way I know if there are similar items in shops where one is significantly cheaper than the other, saving my client both time and money.
When it comes to the actual shopping day, the shopping trip itself can take anywhere from 3 hours to 6 hours (depending on how much clothing the client requires). I always make it as stress free and fun as possible, as I’m more than aware that most men don’t find clothing shopping the most enjoyable task normally. But I’m happy to say I’ve had more than a few clients give feedback that they had a great time shopping with me and enjoyed the experience for the first time in their life! I make sure I select clothing that is colour coordinated and that everything they purchase all matches each other and multiple combinations of outfits can be achieved.
Another element that makes the day so efficient is that I am brutally honest when it comes to whether I think an item of clothing looks good or not. The problem with shopping on your own (or with your mum or female friend!) is that she or the sales assistant may say you look good in something when in fact you don’t. My job is to be time efficient and make you look fantastic, so I will decide in a flash whether something looks flattering on the client or not and not waste time “umming or ahh-ing”! While trying on the clothing, I photograph each outfit as the client tries it on, including all the shoes and accessories. I then email all the photos to the client so they have a visual record of all the items purchased. This comes in handy when it can seem a bit overwhelming at first when guys aren’t sure (or don’t remember) how to coordinate and accessorise their outfits. The photos mean you have an instant instruction on how to put the outfit together.
Unlike other stylists, my main focus is not always what is totally “in fashion”. I prefer clothing that makes men look sexy and is timeless. Rather than falling for the latest trends that people cringe about the following year (pink polo shirts, jeans with paint splatters, square toed alligator shoes etc) I’m looking at styles that will last for years and lock in with male style icons from across generations. Most importantly I look for clothing that is going to attract women. After all, I’m dating coach and that means my intention is always to educate my clients on how easy it is to attract women with your style.
In the case of Justin (featured in the video) his clothing he’d been wearing was too big for him. The colours were faded and the fabrics old and worn. No woman is going to find that sexy. Wearing clothing that is too big for you (is very common, especially if you have recently lost weight for example) is aesthetically detrimental as it adds weight to your figure that isn’t there! With Justin I made sure all of his new clothing fitted his figure correctly. His new jeans were now 3 sizes smaller than before! They hugged his body and accentuated his athletic figure and made him look so much slimmer. His t-shirts we bought 2 sizes smaller, showing off his arms and chest.
Justin played a lot of sport but was also into martial arts and listened to heavy metal music. His current wardrobe of baggy light blue jeans and oversized colour t-shirts were not doing him any favours. He specifically requested a desire to look more of a “bad boy” (my speciality!) so I chose for him instead a colour palette of darker colours. Brighter colours (think bright green and yellow t-shirts for example ) tend to make you look younger. Darker colours are more sophisticated and edgier. I didn’t want Justin to look too alternative or rock or gothic or anything outrageous. So I made sure he had a very black/white/grey toned wardrobe, with classic items such an a leather jacket, boots and fitted black jeans. The black jeans, boots and leather jacket give his look an “edge” without making him look too over the top. Justin was so happy with his new wardrobe- as you can see from his expression and body language at the end of the video- he was strutting down that street next to me like a movie star!
The Link between confidence and Style
One of the most joyful parts of my job is seeing the positive impact new clothing can have on a guy’s sense of confidence and how he carries himself. I have seen guys walk into a change-room, shoulders hunched and extremely under-confident…but then in the right jeans, bad-ass boots and a cool jacket, that same guy will strut out a new man! I love seeing the immediate transformation men undergo by just wearing new clothing that fits them correctly and makes them feel attractive and sexy in a way they had never considered before. I have had so many clients realise how easy it is to attract women with their style- with countless men telling me how they for the first time in their life experienced women checking THEM out in the street. Giving men permission to express themselves confidently through their image and clothing is really important. In a world where too much focus (in my opinion) is on women to look sexy, I’m all about giving some of that role to men as well. We women enjoy and appreciate a stylish man as well! I’m really happy to be able to do this through my work as both a stylist and dating coach- as always, a service to women as much as men.
Style Coaching with Jess in Barcelona (and seduction training with TNL team)
Want to improve your image and personal style? Want to project confidence and charisma and feel like a movie star in the way you dress? Eager to see the effects your new style will have on women? Then join me, James, Liam and Tony in Barcelona from 29th June – 5th July, for an action packed week in Europe’s sexiest city. Work with Jess one-on-one to develop a sharp and sophisticated style for yourself. Then hit the beaches, streets and clubs for a week of seduction madness, meeting and dating gorgeous women.
To build an amazing lifestyle full of fun activities, interesting friends and sexy women, you must put effort into it. Many guys fall into the mindset of only focussing on one area of their life at a time, whether that is career, lifestyle or seduction. Sometimes yes you need to have sole focus that devours most your attention, but in general, combining these elements of your life goals will deliver much broader results. Although we endorse cold approach as a vital skill for having access to any woman you see, meeting women through a scene or hobby is certainly easier, as it is expected that people within a social scene be open to each other.
Building a lifestyle of hobbies you enjoy makes you a more attractive man. The reason is, when you are changing yourself and sculpting your life in a desirable way, you become desirable. You unconsciously carry a different energy with you that draws people to you. You radiate a happiness that is alluring to those who look at you. Therefore, put in the effort needed to have a better life for your self. Seek out that which you like to do. Creating the life you want is initially hard work, but after a while it becomes enjoyable and starts to generate it’s own momentum that eventually doesn’t require you to maintain it, just to turn up and enjoy yourself.
Girls who are into the same subculture as you are much easier to meet. You have commonality, she’s socially obliged to be friendly to you and she will have less fear or barriers to meeting you outside of class because you have mutual connections. Now of course if your seduction skills suck, no amount of proximity at yoga class will help. But when you mix game and lifestyle, the results skyrocket. When approaching and seducing within a social scene,, there are some key points to keep in mind.
Firstly, if you will see her frequently, don’t be full on with your interest. Overt direct statements of interest will create negative pressure and she’ll likely reject your advances. Flirt with her playfully instead of trying to treat her like a girl on the street. Saying things like “Good choice on your outfit today”, instead of “you look sexy in that outfit today” will deliver the message and keep you out of the friend zone without freaking her out.
Keep in mind this is the primary way she meets men anyways. Most couples meet through social circle, so there is no new paradigm to try to make her step into.
If you have some seduction ability and start moving into new social circles regularly, lifestyle game will become a major element in your success statistics.
Have fun building a lifestyle that you desire. Seek that which you want. This process of doing that will change you for the better. And of course, take advantage in your hobbies to meet women because the truth is, it’s easier.
P.s. If you want to learn more on creating a desirable lifestyle filled with fun and women, come join me an the TNL team in Barcelona for a week of Spanish loving. 29th June – 5th July. Full details HERE.
This hero is enticed by a new possibility or forced out of his old comfort zone and as much as he may fear the changes that are occurring or wish it was all over as soon as possible, he is going to have to go through a number of transformations that require pressure, paradox, discomfort and confusion to grow. Like a caterpillar to a butterfly this gestation period of discomfort is necessary for the next way of being to come into existence.
The hero must learn to deal with the light and the dark of the world by facingtrials, expanding his being, learning skills and developing new strategies. In terms of the Hero within ourselves this means that we must face our inner
critics and shadows and evolve through them with personal growth tools and mentors. When a dark or heavy energy, emotion, concept or circumstance is present in our lives we are required to raise ourselves out of its grips by becoming more aware, connected to our creative source and through that becoming more resourceful and able to shift our being into doing.
Just like a hero in a story if we don’t learn to develop our character through challenge and new courageous experience we become one dimensional and stagnent. This is one of the primary dangers of our modern day culture. It prescribes a set of ideals that are increasingly shallow and ignore, deny and brush over the real deep meaning, complexity and relations that are the foundation of our real human potential and forward evolution. This depth and meaning that is the real container of our evolution has been replaced with an array of shiny things that bedazzle and distract us from the real work of engaging with our being and the challenges of grounding that mystery into our everyday world in action.
Similarly if we don’t learn to love the light and the dark in a healthy balanced way we run the risk of being unable to cope with these energies when they show up in our lives. Learning to deal with the shadow and the light is a vital part of life. They are just two sides of a spectrum of energy or two phases in a creation, destruction cycle that go on within and around us all the time. To deny one end of the spectrum or try and grasp and hoard one is only a recipe for suffering. This is like trying to trap some daylight for yourself so you can always have the day or trying to stop the sun from going down so the night doesn’t come. It’s an illusion.
Never before have we been so easily distracted and trapped in our own complexity, but paradoxically never before have we had so much freedom and potential to create a new reality for ourselves both as individuals as well as collectively in community.
In practical terms this means becoming better friends with both ends of the spectrum and filling in the gaps in our consciousness, connecting the dots and creating a world of more relevant and aligned meaning for ourselves and others. Instead of running from shadow energy and trying to ignore it instead go inside it and embrace it with love and compassion.
A major aspect of becoming a man is recognising and stepping up to the call of the hero’s journey. The hero’s journey is an archetypal evolutionary process of self-transformation from boyish immaturity to a state of deeper maturity and
resulting in effectively relating in the world. This is all about reclaiming your heroic potential and engaging the process of evolving as an embodied creator in creation with other creations and creators. This whole journey begins with a call for change and is completed with a home coming to the truth of the hero’s core being and awareness. It’s not always an easy task and sometimes we may even fail but the beauty and romance of the hero is that he always arises again to a new day of possibility and the journey begins again.
This is a journey from dependence to independence then interdependence and beyond. It’s about balancing being and doing and learning to have goals, direction, morals and integrity whilst also being flexible, capable of change and enjoying the process of evolution.
The following diagram outlines the steps in the process that take place in this journey into a larger world. As you can see this is a process of change and transformation that encompasses the challenge of fully embracing and living Life.
The hero’s journey is something that each of us on the Natural team have embraced through life in our own distinctive flavour.
I have spent 15yrs in intensive training and developing understandings of the world and relationships with an aim towards fully understanding and liberating myself and others from existential conflicts and challenges. Through explorations in consciousness, shamanism, sexuality Tantra, body work, mindfulness and the myriad forms of relationships that I have experienced along the way. I have gained knowledge and wisdom that has proven to be of immense benefit to myself and those that I share with that come in to contact with me.
James Marshall has spent a similar period of time (AT least 15 yrs) developing and exploring his skills and relationships with the world through body work, mindfulness, martial arts, Music, seduction, business, and much more to emerge as a successful lifestyle entrepreneur, international man of adventure and all round gentleman’s lifestyle mentor.
Liam Mcrae has spent at least the last 5 years working with us developing and honing his ideals and skills of social freedom, rapid escalation and how to be an effective man in the field of dating, relating and socialising. Constantly pushing social boundaries and optimising his lifestyle to be pure pursuit of personal satisfaction.
Tony Solo has one of the biggest hearts you will find in this industry and has lived a great hero’s journey through his very active and conscious choices to avoid the pitfalls of his environment. He has strategically chosen to be a passionate representative of his hobbies and to live as an open hearted authentic and empowered lover of life and women. He brings a powerful depth and lateral thinking approach to the community and is a very rare find indeed.
Jess Daly lives out her Heroin’s journey in many. From her passion for style and rock star living, performance, alternative relationships and exploring herself on stage travelling the world and touring with bands as a dancer and costume designer.
The moral to the story. We have all lived extensive lives and chosen to go against the grain of the status quo. For each of us relationships, Seduction and Pick Up is but a small piece of a larger pie of self-mastery. Each of us continue to push our limits and improve our sense of self mastery on a daily basis.
This is not to say that we are perfect or superior to anyone, merely that we made some serious choices and commitments to live our dreams and make things happen. Each of us has stresses and challenges that we are working with in our process. We are aware of them as a part of the process however and we will continue to integrate, be flexible along the path as we move.
So what about you?
What does your hero’s journey look like?
Have you begun, where are you now?
Are you taking responsibility for what it really means?
Do you know how you can create momentum and empowerment on this journey?
What are you choosing?
The Hero’s journey is the blueprint for a man to grow and succeed. Note your step on it at this moment and set your intention and resolve to be the transcendent man your psyche and genes have the potential to be.
Join Shae, James, Liam, Tony and Jess for the ultimate seduction hero’s journey – The Euro Tour. Last tour for 2015. Final applications HERE.