But what they don’t realize is the relationship advice they’ve been given is not just unhelpful…in most of the cases we see, it’s too little, too late. They are already in too deep, driven by cultural myths about what women want, and have lost their masculine energy, vitality and life force that made the woman attracted to them in the first place.
A man feels as though, if he is a good enough guy, shows respect, affection, is on time, is neat, is nice, a woman will fall for him.
What we’ve seen over and over is that women respond to how a man makes her feel, not the things he does. And most guys have no idea how they make a woman feel, or what feelings are exciting for her.
Here are the 3 distinct phases guys play out:
1. Knight in shining armour. This is a classic role that guys love to play. It’s fed into our brains since childhood… the powerful handsome rich prince saving the princess and getting rewarded with sex, affection, and female attention. This story often leads guys to pursue girls who are not interested in them, spend months or years patiently hoping that if they stick around long enough a girl will recognize what a good guy they are, or stay in toxic relationships with girls who have extreme emotional problems hoping that they can ‘fix them’ or ‘save them. This leads to the next mistake…
2. Sacrifices. The knight has to slay a big dragon to impress the princess. But it’s worth it when he gets that sweet, sweet feminine attention and approval he’s been craving in the form of sex, a girlfriend, intimacy etc. So many guys often end up making sacrifices to prove their love, from the subtle day by day ones to the grandiose. An example of the subtle is attending to a woman’s every need to the point where you smother her. and the grandiose… in this job I’ve watched countless guys throw away passions, friendship groups, careers, fulfilling lifestyles and artistic pursuits to ‘be with a girl’. And here’s the worst part: women don’t respect you for it… they actually resent it! They are attracted to a man with a vital life force and purpose… unless that purpose is ‘needily extract validation and feminine attention from this woman.’ She wants to be part of your life, NOT your whole life.
3. Resentment. Men who play out these stereotypes long enough end up resenting women. They feel cheated by the system, lied to, manipulated. This is covered extensively in “No More Mr Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. It feels for them that no matter how hard they try, no matter how nice, chivalrous, and committed they are, their quest for feminine affection and attention winds up hurting them.
So what is the ultimate relationship advice? Maintain a purpose, drive, and passion outside of women. Make her a fun addition to your already stimulating lifestyle, not the focal point of it. This involves discovering who YOU are as a man before diving head first into a serious long-term monogamous relationship.